I can find a million names to that face; I can speak of a thousand traits to that hand. I can call upon the sands of time and find what I lost; I can recreate what I destroyed. All it takes is just one flick of the switch and I will be supreme. We are what we are, genius to our art.
He who finds himself alone, is he who finds himself with friends. He who locks his heart, is he who dies alone. But he who finds himself searching, will find that there is light all over; all he needed but loneliness is not so far away anymore. You who seek what you lost, look the other way; we all are seekers to our own quidditch game. Win or lose, it will all be over soon.
We are all messengers, finding ways and manipulating others to get our message across. We are all but worthless beings, unfit for the throne that we sit upon. Mercenaries we are, profit is all we thirst. Who are we, to rule this beauty? Who are we?
Mozart once said, “To talk well and eloquently is a very great art, but that an equally great one is to know the right moment to stop.”
That is all there is to life, there isn’t much different between yours and mine. All you got to make sure is that you’re breathing the right amount every single step along the way and the right amount accumulated every time you breathe in. Until the end of the day, you let it all out.
How I died, the simplest matter of all; how I died help make millions of others breathe.
All I really am saying, give back to those who gave you so much more; they deserve it.
"Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will come. And if it doesn't come straight away there is still chance that all through you life that it will.
Hitsugaya Toushiro (BLEACH)
"We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go out separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework and continue to shine...forever."
With a little bit of sun and little bit of rain, flowers that never did bloom will do so tonight. On your way out, I want to ask. Did you hear about the boy? The boy who gave the world his heart but the world took his heart for granted, overlooked his message and lied to everyone else with it? Man I miss that boy. That boy could dance the night through, sing like elves do to trees and touch like a feather would the water. What are the odds? I am everyone else but I don’t want to be part of the world, I am just a drifter. Stuck in-between the sands of time, unknown when I’ll be set free.
As hours past, my dreams grow vast. In a ball field with greens, I know I will win. It takes two to clap, and another two to flap. Rest on the wings of an angel; I’ll sleep with them fluffy bagels.
There are no barriers, I’m walking without barriers. Oh, how beautiful. A sight to be seen, we were all born twins. I salute to you, my favourite tune.
In dreams, I will dream.
Zee Yazier Nifail Hamzah
I know lately there has been an influx of posts, so bear with me if I am too fast and you did not get to read the previous posts. You just have to go to the reminisce page to find out what you miss know? The world, or at least my view of the world, has been crazy. Filled with joyful memories, heartwarming memories and all these memories I hope they are built to last. You who are reading this, how have your days been? Everything that happens, they happen for a reason and they happen to teach us a lesson. So grasp each day with open arms, you might not know what you might just find. Keep an open mind will you?
hopefully it will start tonight, I am certain about this.
They say true love is a fable and peace is only in our heads.
Balance. They say we need balance on earth, they say that we need a balance of good and evil for the world to keep on running. But it doesn’t take an angel to notice that we are a dying trend, we are killing the only thing we need in life. Believe me when I say I am no saint and not a saviour either; I am just another entity watching from the corner. Like in a free-for-all arena or in a ring where two boxers passes lefts and rights, I am just the audience refusing to be part of such atrocity.
Why do we need so much hate? The respect is gone; everyone is just angry with everyone but no cares of the casualties. An exchange of a series of wild agonising screams of terror, it brings tears to a child’s eyes and strikes a fear that will forever scar the heart. This is why true love is a fable.
Peace? That is just another excuse for fame. He says, “I stand up for you my brothers and sisters, I stand here before you to bring peace to our lives. I stand here before you to spread the message of peace and harmony and love!” He appears in papers, go for interviews and gets worldwide fame. All the money he receives, he keeps in his own wallet. Just when they thought he would be the change in their lives. I am not quoting or imitating or disgracing any person that is alive or dead. This is my own illustration, no need to charge me for my own story.
What we need to do is, to give more, to love more and to respect more. I am no perfect son, neither am I the change that we all need. I am just another passer-by and will keep on passing on by. In a world where anger and hate are void of tolerance, I ask you who listens to us all. Where’s our dark knight? Where’s the saint that becomes the devil but keeps everyone else in order? Where?
This is the homosapien’s pride, pride that they have got to erase.
All that I receive I give back to you. All that I keep is what keeps me alive.
If you have it [love], you don’t need to have anything else. And if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have. Sir James M. Barrie
On a side note, I wonder how I am going to ask her out.
I wonder what I want sometimes, I always find myself lost between two entities. Is it freedom that I seek or the “peace” that every other person promotes but never acts upon? Sometimes we wonder what our life is about or even, why we are born in the first place. These things we think about some think about it more frequently than others but equally everyone looks for a reason to live.
I came about a quote, “My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” It is by Ashleigh Brilliant, an author and a syndicated cartoonist.
I find it rather similar to my life. I figure it is; I love the cast in my life right now. I have superb people around me, a mother which sacrifices so much more than anyone I know, a dead father that continues to be my drive to live, a step-father that takes care of my mother well, two brothers who have their own agendas but love me equally and a sister who gives me her utmost support in my interests. A beautiful family I have, cousins, aunts and uncles, even with their imperfections I love them still. Then I have friends who give me their all, understanding me even when I don’t totally understand myself, I wouldn’t want to replace them with anyone. Doesn’t that count as a beautiful cast?
Many would call me crazy for wanting more in life, especially when I have such beautiful people around me. Call me crazy but I am one person who wants to understand the bigger picture; I can’t live being ignorant to all the things that are happening in the world. Even if I can’t bring about peace to this world, I would like to at least be able to say I tried. To at least find freedom, to at least understand why life always chaotic and frenzy; has it always been this way? Or have we all turned corrupt since the days of the cavemen. My reason to live is to understand, I know I am meant for greater. I am not greedy; I just refuse to believe that life is unfair. Life is fair, we make it unfair and we complain for our wrong doings. Isn’t that just us?
Let it be found, or it shall find us.
On a different topic altogether, these butterflies are growing bigger. Oh what a dilemma!
Listen to what the young can teach you, to all age and cultures. You might be older, smarter and more experience but does not mean you are wiser. Today I learnt a valuable lesson I guess and guess who taught me this lesson?
A young 11-month old girl.
Surprised? She might not even know what she is doing but listen and watch her movements. Because she surely has a mind of her own to take what she wants and what she does not want.
I relate her to a girl; I believe a girl’s nature can be born from the start of her life. All these feelings are born with them, they are meant to feel so.
1)I put her down, with the milk she wanted but when I walked away, she cried. When I come back to her, just lie beside her and watch her, she stops crying. Sometimes all a girl wants is for you to be there for her, not for you to say anything but just stay there and watch her. Just sit beside her and do nothing but hold her. Let her know you’re there for her.
2)I lay down beside her, she wanted to crawl away. Her head just was about to hit the edge of a cabinet and I know it is going to be nasty if she did; since the edge of the cabinet was fairly sharp. I rested my hand on her head, she kept pushing it away. I rested my hand on the edge of the cabinet, she pushed it again. I was wondering, even though she only thought of her motive and not the dangers. She surely knew that she did not want to be protected. So I came to a conclusion, is that sometimes a girl just wants to make the all the mistakes she can. She does not want to know that you will protect her or not, she knows you will. But what matters to her is that, whether you will be there when the episode is over. Whether you will still hold her hand and proudly name yourself hers and let the world know that you are hers to keep.
I know I wrote down those simplest things but come to think of it, I don’t think you would even notice these little things. The point isn’t to let guys know what to do and not do to a girl. Somehow it is also too but my main point is. Keep your head low, you might just learn the most important life lesson from a kid. It does not take experience and sheer determination. Its about making or breaking life. Its about understanding life. Who are we, if we don’t give a chance to learn from each other; no matter if the teacher is younger. On that note, mistakes are meant to be learnt from and not to knelt down to and giving up life for.
“Life is not the number of breaths you take, its number of times life takes your breath away.”
didn't i told you KOPites to be patient? All the injuries and all the heavy expectations, what for? We are Liverpool, we ALWAYS get better. I know its frustrating, especially when we are starting from last season's hype. Also with Manchester United equalling our record 18 EPL titles. All these worried you, worried me and put fear in some of your hearts.
Then there's the debt issue, come on. Manchester United and Arsenal have bigger debts than ours. Manchester United's debt is 700million+/- , I don't have the exact figures. Arsenal's is 450million+/- , still I can't find the exact figure. But the fact of matter is that we have lesser debt than these two clubs. The reason why our debts is so much in the news, is that we don't have stable reinvestment plans. Which I blame them American owners for. COME ON! WE ARE A SOCCER CLUB, passion for soccer not for money. You want money, go buy Barcelona. The most successful club right now, as I see it though.
Enough of impatience, last night we saw our team's improvement. We won the match within the 60minutes, with 10 men. We were superb, really. Gerrard was talismatic again, Kuyt is as usual hardworking and has always been there for us. Reina superb as usual, best goalkeeper of our time. Unsung hero have got to get more respect. Let's keep this up, didn't I tell you that it's just a matter of time. And oh, Maxi worked his butts off too~
But FIFA, please employ video referees. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO REFEREES?!
Imagine. You had everything, money, looks, brains and popularity. Wherever you go, girls know your name and everywhere you turn you have friends acknowledging you. What would you do with all that? Would you party every other day? Or would you use all that you have and help make the world a better place? The choices we make every day matters. This is the story of a young man, who had his life turned out to be more breathtaking than he’d expect it to be. This is my story.
“Life, how fast it twists and turns. I didn’t expect it to be like this, not in a million years.”
My name is Jonathan. I’m young, rich and handsome. Or perhaps I used be. Now life just seems to be an empty barrel just waiting to be disposed of. I remember those days when I was back in school, being the most popular guy on campus. Getting a girl wasn’t such a hefty chore; it was more like a past time for me. And the guys are either jealous or just looking for an opportunity to hook up with the girls who were always around me. What a life I had then, breezing through my studies too.
Then there was her, the girl I gave everything up for. She was just a year younger, my beloved sister’s age and just like any other plain Jane, she did not have a figure to die for or even a face with the golden ratio. But her eyes, her eyes won me over and most of all was her oh-so-seductive voice. Got me a fever the first time I heard her, a fever I know only she could cure. Her name was Annabelle and it suits her perfect too.
It took me 6 months just to get her. She was hard to get unlike the other girls I dated. She had the same background as me, wealthy but yet our parents are really never there. I could easily relate to her, about anything and everything. And every day, it was like heaven on earth. I was drowned in the pool of her love and I know I made this choice.
For the whole two years of being with her, life was superb. And the only family I really have my sister Sheila, reaped the rewards of this “marriage” I had with Annabelle. She was just like a limb of my own; I could neither live with nor live without it. Sheila got the sister she never had, and I was just as contented with this relationship. Perfect, I used to call it.
Here comes the killer, on my final year, assignments were piling up and I wanted give it the best I can. Leaving very little time for Annabelle, it was a very tough time for her. I was not there for her all the time anymore, I wasn’t even aware of our anniversaries. All these then led to that fateful night, the night I lost my life.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning as I woke up to the sound of my favourite tune on the radio. I felt great, like there’s nothing that would go wrong. I had my usual cereal breakfast, and did my workout. After which, I prepared myself for the evening’s get-together; putting on my flowery print shirt and my jeans on, did my hair and spray cologne all over myself. I told my sister to not wait up for me, I kissed her and left the house.
I took a cab straight to The Central @ Clarke Quay and aliased with my friends. It was busy as per normal; young teens walking around in their colourful outfits, men and women in their suits looking like they needed the weekend to rest. Then there were us, standing in the middle of the mall looking around for a place to have lunch. All of us in our shirts, colourful yet elegant shirts, and our dress pants; it was party night. I saw couples, quite a few them, all in smiles and they looked like they drank one cup too many in the early evening. I started to think of Annabelle so I called to check on her.
She picked up, first sounding as if she heard a ghost then she started mumbling, sounding as if she was in a meeting. She told me she was busy but her background was the hustle and bustle of the road. We hung up and I should have known that something was wrong, but as usual I brushed it off my mind.
My friends decided to grab lunch at Starbucks Coffee; they ate while I drank my drink quietly on the side. I remember having this churning feeling inside, it made me feel real bad. It really wasn’t a pleasant experience, especially when the plans were to have fun, party and breathe all the stress out. We were all drowning in our work for weeks; this party night had to be the best before we start to drown into our work again.
We sat in there, for like an hour. We gossiped like little girls, we laughed till our eyes would tear and complained like we were unsatisfied husbands. It was all good fun, to pass the time before heading off to party. But I was hoping that Annabelle would show and be here laughing with us. And just when we were about to leave, God answered my prayers; but not in the way I wished for.
It felt as if a sharp blade was thrust through my gut, with the blade slicing off all the major blood streams. Creating a catastrophe inside me, everything was going haywire. Time stalled and moved slower than Neo in the movie Matrix. I was shocked, stunned, broken, and insulted, all at the same time. There she was holding hands with another man, coming into Starbucks Coffee, not even noticing I was sitting right beside the door.
Her eyes, her eyes were all over him, those hazel brown eyes. The same eyes I fell in love with, were now in love with another man. She even kissed him on the lips as they entered Starbucks Coffee. My friends could tell by the look on my face, I was devastated. But she was still oblivious, that I was there watching her every move from the moment she entered, till the moment that she turned and looked around for seats. That was when she saw me, her face turned as white as snow; I knew then that she was shocked and ashamed.
But that was not all, amongst all of my closest friends, the one I trust most was the one holding her hand, kissing her lips, and the one who said he was too busy with his work to join our little get-together; and his name is Adam.
Next thing I knew, I screamed a scream so loud that it made her cry. I stomped right in front of Adam, and gave him what he deserved; a punch on the face. After which, I left the whole tainted scene.
My friends followed suit, and they kept trying to calm me down. They said so many things, but all of that went through one ear and out the other. I could not concentrate at all, all I heard were my own footsteps and my heavy breathing. Everything happened so fast, it was like the exhilaration of jumping off the cliff, the only difference; this was heartbreak.
Once we were all far away and out of their sight, I fell to my knees and tears streamed down my face. I didn’t care who or what was watching me. I just wanted someone or something to take the pain away. On top of all the stress I had, I have to deal with this. Not only did my girl cheat on me, but my close friend backstabbed me too. At that point of time, how I wish God would take my life away; God did not answer me that time though.
For the whole two years, I made choices that were the best for me, my sister and Annabelle. I made choices that were sacrificial of my past lifestyle; I had no time to party with my friends, not even time for myself. Even on days that I was free, it was either spent with my sister Sheila or Annabelle. That night was reserved for my friends and I to party, and even though I had the choice to go home and calm myself down. I took the choice to party and dance my sorrows away.
Oh what a party it was, really. There were three girls to each guy on the dance floor, but that wasn’t what I wanted. Girls were the last thing on my mind, all I wanted was to party and forget. I know it is totally impossible to forget two years in one night. That’s the job of alcohol, and on that night an extra special medication was needed.
Yes drugs. The worst choice I made that night was taking drugs. Not only that, I was tipsy when I took them too. The only thing I remembered was bright blue and green lights and I danced till I couldn’t stand anymore. It was a party alright.
Then I remember myself crying, outside the club, and then in the cab on the way home. Everything else after that was a blur, up until I woke up in the morning...life was terrible since that morning.
Under the Penal Code (Singapore), Chapter XVI: Offences against the human body, supposedly I am charged with Rape and then again, it was sectioned under Incest. And if I was charged with Incest, being that Sheila is above the age of 16, I was to face imprisonment up to five years. Unfortunately, Lady Luck was on my side but really, how I wish she was not. I was not sure why but the judge and jury came to a consensus that I was intoxicated at the time of crime; even though I intoxicated myself.
I was charged with the misuse of drugs and I was dragged into jail for six months and that was it. I counted myself unlucky for being inside for just a short while. I tried turning over a new leaf after I was released but one shocking piece of news made the whole aspect of turning over a new leaf, excruciating. My friends came up to me, and told me that Adam and Annabelle had planned the whole encounter; everything from the day I was caught up with assignments to the day I saw them together. They had the message conveyed to me through my friends and they were asking for forgiveness; they never thought it could lead to this, especially about my sister. I assumed they had no guts to tell it to my face.
I lost my mind, I started talking to myself and I stayed away from any kind of company. I lost the ability to trust and eventually, I turned to drugs again. Six months later, I was caught and since it is the second offence under drug misuse, I was thrown in jail for a year. After my release, my beloved parents forgave me for what I have done to my beloved sister. I figured that they did not want to lose their son, because they lost their daughter to an asylum; I figured they sent her there, and I still blame myself for what that has happened to her.
But even after a year in jail, I was still very much lost in my thoughts; I was still talking to myself and was still rejecting company. So my beloved parents, afraid of a repeat of my sister, sent me to rehab. And after two years of rehab, I decided that I had no choice but to rebuild my life from scratch.
“I thought I had it all figured out, but this is Life and it never goes the way you plan it to be; especially when you make the wrong choices in life.”
So this is me rebuilding my life now, speaking to you as your mentor. That fateful night happened five years ago, and in those five years, I learnt that making the right choices is essential to leading a good life. My choices landed me in jail, my sister Sheila in an asylum and unfortunately, my studies have gone down the drain. I am lucky, lucky to even be standing out here a free man still. But I doubt lady luck will be on my side again and I am not willing to bet on it. Don’t make the choices I made because it might lead you to something you wish you never would have done. This is my story, the breathtaking story of Jonathan, the man who lost everything in just one night.
bismillah-ir rahman-ir rahim.
TAKE NOTE: above is a short story I wrote for my IG/CCA, I don't know whether it is going to get publish or not. I rather publish it here rather than let a good story like this go to waste. it is a fictional story, all the characters are fictional and none are of relations of anyone in real life. I copyright this story as mine, please do not use it for your own. this is the first place you are going to read it, and it shall stay as the first. please respect my hardwork in writing this, thank you.
Now I know you will never have thought of me writing this, neither have you ever thought would I feel this way. Now at the end of this, don’t you dare come to me with comforting words because those words that will pour out from your from mouth are lies. I am on the edge of my world right now; I am on the verge of pulling the trigger.
I think I’ve lost my mind, I know I’ve lost my way. My beliefs have backfired on me; I know it takes a little more patience. But for all the years of my life, very few people have believed in me. I thank them at that; I am honoured to be someone’s hope to do great. But every time I know I can succeed and I will succeed, there are those who pull me back. I am bound for something better; I am bound for greatness. But why can’t they just let me win? Why can’t they believe in me? Haven’t I put in effort? Isn’t it enough prove that I won’t let you down? I can and I will do you proud, if you just give me that chance. I don’t know what’s with this world. I know there is bound to be competition and such, but this. This is just prejudicial! Come on, be fair. I am sick of being the shadow; I want to be the light. Don’t stop me, don’t you dare stop me. Even if it takes all that I have, I don’t care. This heart of mine will stop flowing the blood of peace and willingness. Because now is my time, I will push you down. And at that time, don’t come to me begging. You are unfair.
I can find a million names to that face; I can speak of a thousand traits to that hand. I can call upon the sands of time and find what I lost; I can recreate what I destroyed. All it takes is just one flick of the switch and I will be supreme. We are what we are, genius to our art.
He who finds himself alone, is he who finds himself with friends. He who locks his heart, is he who dies alone. But he who finds himself searching, will find that there is light all over; all he needed but loneliness is not so far away anymore. You who seek what you lost, look the other way; we all are seekers to our own quidditch game. Win or lose, it will all be over soon.
We are all messengers, finding ways and manipulating others to get our message across. We are all but worthless beings, unfit for the throne that we sit upon. Mercenaries we are, profit is all we thirst. Who are we, to rule this beauty? Who are we?
Mozart once said, “To talk well and eloquently is a very great art, but that an equally great one is to know the right moment to stop.”
That is all there is to life, there isn’t much different between yours and mine. All you got to make sure is that you’re breathing the right amount every single step along the way and the right amount accumulated every time you breathe in. Until the end of the day, you let it all out.
How I died, the simplest matter of all; how I died help make millions of others breathe.
All I really am saying, give back to those who gave you so much more; they deserve it.
"Hope is the most exciting thing in life and if you honestly believe that love is out there, it will come. And if it doesn't come straight away there is still chance that all through you life that it will.
Hitsugaya Toushiro (BLEACH)
"We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go out separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework and continue to shine...forever."
With a little bit of sun and little bit of rain, flowers that never did bloom will do so tonight. On your way out, I want to ask. Did you hear about the boy? The boy who gave the world his heart but the world took his heart for granted, overlooked his message and lied to everyone else with it? Man I miss that boy. That boy could dance the night through, sing like elves do to trees and touch like a feather would the water. What are the odds? I am everyone else but I don’t want to be part of the world, I am just a drifter. Stuck in-between the sands of time, unknown when I’ll be set free.
As hours past, my dreams grow vast. In a ball field with greens, I know I will win. It takes two to clap, and another two to flap. Rest on the wings of an angel; I’ll sleep with them fluffy bagels.
There are no barriers, I’m walking without barriers. Oh, how beautiful. A sight to be seen, we were all born twins. I salute to you, my favourite tune.
In dreams, I will dream.
Zee Yazier Nifail Hamzah
I know lately there has been an influx of posts, so bear with me if I am too fast and you did not get to read the previous posts. You just have to go to the reminisce page to find out what you miss know? The world, or at least my view of the world, has been crazy. Filled with joyful memories, heartwarming memories and all these memories I hope they are built to last. You who are reading this, how have your days been? Everything that happens, they happen for a reason and they happen to teach us a lesson. So grasp each day with open arms, you might not know what you might just find. Keep an open mind will you?
hopefully it will start tonight, I am certain about this.
They say true love is a fable and peace is only in our heads.
Balance. They say we need balance on earth, they say that we need a balance of good and evil for the world to keep on running. But it doesn’t take an angel to notice that we are a dying trend, we are killing the only thing we need in life. Believe me when I say I am no saint and not a saviour either; I am just another entity watching from the corner. Like in a free-for-all arena or in a ring where two boxers passes lefts and rights, I am just the audience refusing to be part of such atrocity.
Why do we need so much hate? The respect is gone; everyone is just angry with everyone but no cares of the casualties. An exchange of a series of wild agonising screams of terror, it brings tears to a child’s eyes and strikes a fear that will forever scar the heart. This is why true love is a fable.
Peace? That is just another excuse for fame. He says, “I stand up for you my brothers and sisters, I stand here before you to bring peace to our lives. I stand here before you to spread the message of peace and harmony and love!” He appears in papers, go for interviews and gets worldwide fame. All the money he receives, he keeps in his own wallet. Just when they thought he would be the change in their lives. I am not quoting or imitating or disgracing any person that is alive or dead. This is my own illustration, no need to charge me for my own story.
What we need to do is, to give more, to love more and to respect more. I am no perfect son, neither am I the change that we all need. I am just another passer-by and will keep on passing on by. In a world where anger and hate are void of tolerance, I ask you who listens to us all. Where’s our dark knight? Where’s the saint that becomes the devil but keeps everyone else in order? Where?
This is the homosapien’s pride, pride that they have got to erase.
All that I receive I give back to you. All that I keep is what keeps me alive.
If you have it [love], you don’t need to have anything else. And if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have. Sir James M. Barrie
On a side note, I wonder how I am going to ask her out.
I wonder what I want sometimes, I always find myself lost between two entities. Is it freedom that I seek or the “peace” that every other person promotes but never acts upon? Sometimes we wonder what our life is about or even, why we are born in the first place. These things we think about some think about it more frequently than others but equally everyone looks for a reason to live.
I came about a quote, “My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” It is by Ashleigh Brilliant, an author and a syndicated cartoonist.
I find it rather similar to my life. I figure it is; I love the cast in my life right now. I have superb people around me, a mother which sacrifices so much more than anyone I know, a dead father that continues to be my drive to live, a step-father that takes care of my mother well, two brothers who have their own agendas but love me equally and a sister who gives me her utmost support in my interests. A beautiful family I have, cousins, aunts and uncles, even with their imperfections I love them still. Then I have friends who give me their all, understanding me even when I don’t totally understand myself, I wouldn’t want to replace them with anyone. Doesn’t that count as a beautiful cast?
Many would call me crazy for wanting more in life, especially when I have such beautiful people around me. Call me crazy but I am one person who wants to understand the bigger picture; I can’t live being ignorant to all the things that are happening in the world. Even if I can’t bring about peace to this world, I would like to at least be able to say I tried. To at least find freedom, to at least understand why life always chaotic and frenzy; has it always been this way? Or have we all turned corrupt since the days of the cavemen. My reason to live is to understand, I know I am meant for greater. I am not greedy; I just refuse to believe that life is unfair. Life is fair, we make it unfair and we complain for our wrong doings. Isn’t that just us?
Let it be found, or it shall find us.
On a different topic altogether, these butterflies are growing bigger. Oh what a dilemma!
Listen to what the young can teach you, to all age and cultures. You might be older, smarter and more experience but does not mean you are wiser. Today I learnt a valuable lesson I guess and guess who taught me this lesson?
A young 11-month old girl.
Surprised? She might not even know what she is doing but listen and watch her movements. Because she surely has a mind of her own to take what she wants and what she does not want.
I relate her to a girl; I believe a girl’s nature can be born from the start of her life. All these feelings are born with them, they are meant to feel so.
1)I put her down, with the milk she wanted but when I walked away, she cried. When I come back to her, just lie beside her and watch her, she stops crying. Sometimes all a girl wants is for you to be there for her, not for you to say anything but just stay there and watch her. Just sit beside her and do nothing but hold her. Let her know you’re there for her.
2)I lay down beside her, she wanted to crawl away. Her head just was about to hit the edge of a cabinet and I know it is going to be nasty if she did; since the edge of the cabinet was fairly sharp. I rested my hand on her head, she kept pushing it away. I rested my hand on the edge of the cabinet, she pushed it again. I was wondering, even though she only thought of her motive and not the dangers. She surely knew that she did not want to be protected. So I came to a conclusion, is that sometimes a girl just wants to make the all the mistakes she can. She does not want to know that you will protect her or not, she knows you will. But what matters to her is that, whether you will be there when the episode is over. Whether you will still hold her hand and proudly name yourself hers and let the world know that you are hers to keep.
I know I wrote down those simplest things but come to think of it, I don’t think you would even notice these little things. The point isn’t to let guys know what to do and not do to a girl. Somehow it is also too but my main point is. Keep your head low, you might just learn the most important life lesson from a kid. It does not take experience and sheer determination. Its about making or breaking life. Its about understanding life. Who are we, if we don’t give a chance to learn from each other; no matter if the teacher is younger. On that note, mistakes are meant to be learnt from and not to knelt down to and giving up life for.
“Life is not the number of breaths you take, its number of times life takes your breath away.”
didn't i told you KOPites to be patient? All the injuries and all the heavy expectations, what for? We are Liverpool, we ALWAYS get better. I know its frustrating, especially when we are starting from last season's hype. Also with Manchester United equalling our record 18 EPL titles. All these worried you, worried me and put fear in some of your hearts.
Then there's the debt issue, come on. Manchester United and Arsenal have bigger debts than ours. Manchester United's debt is 700million+/- , I don't have the exact figures. Arsenal's is 450million+/- , still I can't find the exact figure. But the fact of matter is that we have lesser debt than these two clubs. The reason why our debts is so much in the news, is that we don't have stable reinvestment plans. Which I blame them American owners for. COME ON! WE ARE A SOCCER CLUB, passion for soccer not for money. You want money, go buy Barcelona. The most successful club right now, as I see it though.
Enough of impatience, last night we saw our team's improvement. We won the match within the 60minutes, with 10 men. We were superb, really. Gerrard was talismatic again, Kuyt is as usual hardworking and has always been there for us. Reina superb as usual, best goalkeeper of our time. Unsung hero have got to get more respect. Let's keep this up, didn't I tell you that it's just a matter of time. And oh, Maxi worked his butts off too~
But FIFA, please employ video referees. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO REFEREES?!
Imagine. You had everything, money, looks, brains and popularity. Wherever you go, girls know your name and everywhere you turn you have friends acknowledging you. What would you do with all that? Would you party every other day? Or would you use all that you have and help make the world a better place? The choices we make every day matters. This is the story of a young man, who had his life turned out to be more breathtaking than he’d expect it to be. This is my story.
“Life, how fast it twists and turns. I didn’t expect it to be like this, not in a million years.”
My name is Jonathan. I’m young, rich and handsome. Or perhaps I used be. Now life just seems to be an empty barrel just waiting to be disposed of. I remember those days when I was back in school, being the most popular guy on campus. Getting a girl wasn’t such a hefty chore; it was more like a past time for me. And the guys are either jealous or just looking for an opportunity to hook up with the girls who were always around me. What a life I had then, breezing through my studies too.
Then there was her, the girl I gave everything up for. She was just a year younger, my beloved sister’s age and just like any other plain Jane, she did not have a figure to die for or even a face with the golden ratio. But her eyes, her eyes won me over and most of all was her oh-so-seductive voice. Got me a fever the first time I heard her, a fever I know only she could cure. Her name was Annabelle and it suits her perfect too.
It took me 6 months just to get her. She was hard to get unlike the other girls I dated. She had the same background as me, wealthy but yet our parents are really never there. I could easily relate to her, about anything and everything. And every day, it was like heaven on earth. I was drowned in the pool of her love and I know I made this choice.
For the whole two years of being with her, life was superb. And the only family I really have my sister Sheila, reaped the rewards of this “marriage” I had with Annabelle. She was just like a limb of my own; I could neither live with nor live without it. Sheila got the sister she never had, and I was just as contented with this relationship. Perfect, I used to call it.
Here comes the killer, on my final year, assignments were piling up and I wanted give it the best I can. Leaving very little time for Annabelle, it was a very tough time for her. I was not there for her all the time anymore, I wasn’t even aware of our anniversaries. All these then led to that fateful night, the night I lost my life.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning as I woke up to the sound of my favourite tune on the radio. I felt great, like there’s nothing that would go wrong. I had my usual cereal breakfast, and did my workout. After which, I prepared myself for the evening’s get-together; putting on my flowery print shirt and my jeans on, did my hair and spray cologne all over myself. I told my sister to not wait up for me, I kissed her and left the house.
I took a cab straight to The Central @ Clarke Quay and aliased with my friends. It was busy as per normal; young teens walking around in their colourful outfits, men and women in their suits looking like they needed the weekend to rest. Then there were us, standing in the middle of the mall looking around for a place to have lunch. All of us in our shirts, colourful yet elegant shirts, and our dress pants; it was party night. I saw couples, quite a few them, all in smiles and they looked like they drank one cup too many in the early evening. I started to think of Annabelle so I called to check on her.
She picked up, first sounding as if she heard a ghost then she started mumbling, sounding as if she was in a meeting. She told me she was busy but her background was the hustle and bustle of the road. We hung up and I should have known that something was wrong, but as usual I brushed it off my mind.
My friends decided to grab lunch at Starbucks Coffee; they ate while I drank my drink quietly on the side. I remember having this churning feeling inside, it made me feel real bad. It really wasn’t a pleasant experience, especially when the plans were to have fun, party and breathe all the stress out. We were all drowning in our work for weeks; this party night had to be the best before we start to drown into our work again.
We sat in there, for like an hour. We gossiped like little girls, we laughed till our eyes would tear and complained like we were unsatisfied husbands. It was all good fun, to pass the time before heading off to party. But I was hoping that Annabelle would show and be here laughing with us. And just when we were about to leave, God answered my prayers; but not in the way I wished for.
It felt as if a sharp blade was thrust through my gut, with the blade slicing off all the major blood streams. Creating a catastrophe inside me, everything was going haywire. Time stalled and moved slower than Neo in the movie Matrix. I was shocked, stunned, broken, and insulted, all at the same time. There she was holding hands with another man, coming into Starbucks Coffee, not even noticing I was sitting right beside the door.
Her eyes, her eyes were all over him, those hazel brown eyes. The same eyes I fell in love with, were now in love with another man. She even kissed him on the lips as they entered Starbucks Coffee. My friends could tell by the look on my face, I was devastated. But she was still oblivious, that I was there watching her every move from the moment she entered, till the moment that she turned and looked around for seats. That was when she saw me, her face turned as white as snow; I knew then that she was shocked and ashamed.
But that was not all, amongst all of my closest friends, the one I trust most was the one holding her hand, kissing her lips, and the one who said he was too busy with his work to join our little get-together; and his name is Adam.
Next thing I knew, I screamed a scream so loud that it made her cry. I stomped right in front of Adam, and gave him what he deserved; a punch on the face. After which, I left the whole tainted scene.
My friends followed suit, and they kept trying to calm me down. They said so many things, but all of that went through one ear and out the other. I could not concentrate at all, all I heard were my own footsteps and my heavy breathing. Everything happened so fast, it was like the exhilaration of jumping off the cliff, the only difference; this was heartbreak.
Once we were all far away and out of their sight, I fell to my knees and tears streamed down my face. I didn’t care who or what was watching me. I just wanted someone or something to take the pain away. On top of all the stress I had, I have to deal with this. Not only did my girl cheat on me, but my close friend backstabbed me too. At that point of time, how I wish God would take my life away; God did not answer me that time though.
For the whole two years, I made choices that were the best for me, my sister and Annabelle. I made choices that were sacrificial of my past lifestyle; I had no time to party with my friends, not even time for myself. Even on days that I was free, it was either spent with my sister Sheila or Annabelle. That night was reserved for my friends and I to party, and even though I had the choice to go home and calm myself down. I took the choice to party and dance my sorrows away.
Oh what a party it was, really. There were three girls to each guy on the dance floor, but that wasn’t what I wanted. Girls were the last thing on my mind, all I wanted was to party and forget. I know it is totally impossible to forget two years in one night. That’s the job of alcohol, and on that night an extra special medication was needed.
Yes drugs. The worst choice I made that night was taking drugs. Not only that, I was tipsy when I took them too. The only thing I remembered was bright blue and green lights and I danced till I couldn’t stand anymore. It was a party alright.
Then I remember myself crying, outside the club, and then in the cab on the way home. Everything else after that was a blur, up until I woke up in the morning...life was terrible since that morning.
Under the Penal Code (Singapore), Chapter XVI: Offences against the human body, supposedly I am charged with Rape and then again, it was sectioned under Incest. And if I was charged with Incest, being that Sheila is above the age of 16, I was to face imprisonment up to five years. Unfortunately, Lady Luck was on my side but really, how I wish she was not. I was not sure why but the judge and jury came to a consensus that I was intoxicated at the time of crime; even though I intoxicated myself.
I was charged with the misuse of drugs and I was dragged into jail for six months and that was it. I counted myself unlucky for being inside for just a short while. I tried turning over a new leaf after I was released but one shocking piece of news made the whole aspect of turning over a new leaf, excruciating. My friends came up to me, and told me that Adam and Annabelle had planned the whole encounter; everything from the day I was caught up with assignments to the day I saw them together. They had the message conveyed to me through my friends and they were asking for forgiveness; they never thought it could lead to this, especially about my sister. I assumed they had no guts to tell it to my face.
I lost my mind, I started talking to myself and I stayed away from any kind of company. I lost the ability to trust and eventually, I turned to drugs again. Six months later, I was caught and since it is the second offence under drug misuse, I was thrown in jail for a year. After my release, my beloved parents forgave me for what I have done to my beloved sister. I figured that they did not want to lose their son, because they lost their daughter to an asylum; I figured they sent her there, and I still blame myself for what that has happened to her.
But even after a year in jail, I was still very much lost in my thoughts; I was still talking to myself and was still rejecting company. So my beloved parents, afraid of a repeat of my sister, sent me to rehab. And after two years of rehab, I decided that I had no choice but to rebuild my life from scratch.
“I thought I had it all figured out, but this is Life and it never goes the way you plan it to be; especially when you make the wrong choices in life.”
So this is me rebuilding my life now, speaking to you as your mentor. That fateful night happened five years ago, and in those five years, I learnt that making the right choices is essential to leading a good life. My choices landed me in jail, my sister Sheila in an asylum and unfortunately, my studies have gone down the drain. I am lucky, lucky to even be standing out here a free man still. But I doubt lady luck will be on my side again and I am not willing to bet on it. Don’t make the choices I made because it might lead you to something you wish you never would have done. This is my story, the breathtaking story of Jonathan, the man who lost everything in just one night.
bismillah-ir rahman-ir rahim.
TAKE NOTE: above is a short story I wrote for my IG/CCA, I don't know whether it is going to get publish or not. I rather publish it here rather than let a good story like this go to waste. it is a fictional story, all the characters are fictional and none are of relations of anyone in real life. I copyright this story as mine, please do not use it for your own. this is the first place you are going to read it, and it shall stay as the first. please respect my hardwork in writing this, thank you.
Now I know you will never have thought of me writing this, neither have you ever thought would I feel this way. Now at the end of this, don’t you dare come to me with comforting words because those words that will pour out from your from mouth are lies. I am on the edge of my world right now; I am on the verge of pulling the trigger.
I think I’ve lost my mind, I know I’ve lost my way. My beliefs have backfired on me; I know it takes a little more patience. But for all the years of my life, very few people have believed in me. I thank them at that; I am honoured to be someone’s hope to do great. But every time I know I can succeed and I will succeed, there are those who pull me back. I am bound for something better; I am bound for greatness. But why can’t they just let me win? Why can’t they believe in me? Haven’t I put in effort? Isn’t it enough prove that I won’t let you down? I can and I will do you proud, if you just give me that chance. I don’t know what’s with this world. I know there is bound to be competition and such, but this. This is just prejudicial! Come on, be fair. I am sick of being the shadow; I want to be the light. Don’t stop me, don’t you dare stop me. Even if it takes all that I have, I don’t care. This heart of mine will stop flowing the blood of peace and willingness. Because now is my time, I will push you down. And at that time, don’t come to me begging. You are unfair.
A DIE HARD LIVERPOOL FC FAN.
in short, Zee will be just fine.
writing is my passion.
love, peace & rock n' roll.
is definiitely my fashion.
please don't steal anything here, respect originality and hardwork.
