Saturday, July 11, 2009 @ 11:58 AM
bismillah-ir rahman-ir rahim.
amin.
Hey love,
Where are you?
How have you been?
For the past few months, i don't know what i've been doing.
I thought i was happy, i thought i was free.
I thought it would end, and you won't torment me anymore.
This feeling you give, is just too unbearable; just so confusing.
What is it that you want me to feel?
How is it that you want me to live my life?
I don't know if you'd understand.
But i hope this gets through.
I may seem happy, carefree, not having a thought of the world.
But it really is, actually a show, to see those smiles.
To hear laughter all around.
Isn't that what this world is for?
How could you.
I do.
Care for myself.
I do.
Have a heart.
That craves for peace.
I do care if i don't have enough.
I am jealous of you love.
I do not know if this is a phase.
I do not know if this is part of moving on.
I am uncertain of what i am moving from.
I am uncertain of where this hurt comes from.
I am pouring my heart out today because you told me to.
Time to let go, time to outlive this tragedy.
Why?
Why?
Why do I go through all this?
What have I done?
Is it truth or is it just to teach me a lesson that cannot be learnt.
I want an answer, i want to move on.
I want to smile every day because i want to, not because i have to.
I want to laugh each day, not carrying a luggage.
A luggage so huge, because that is my past.
I do not want to do that.
I want to be free, i do not want to hold it back any longer.
I want to let it go.
I want to live, like everyone else.
I want to sing, like no one is listening.
I want to die, without a thought of emptiness.
Without knowing, someone out there is suffering; just like i am.
I want a way out, i want to see a brighter day; not days like today.
Where every bright cloud that shines, seems to be ever so dull.
I am scribbling, not knowing my purpose.
But at least i know, that i feel human.
Hurting deeply, awounded.
I want to do what i want, i tell others to do.
I want to shine, like everyone else.
But i don't want another me, a fake.
Who does anything, just for a smile.
Just to see a much brighter day.
How have you been?
For the past few months, i don't know what i've been doing.
I thought i was happy, i thought i was free.
I thought it would end, and you won't torment me anymore.
This feeling you give, is just too unbearable; just so confusing.
What is it that you want me to feel?
How is it that you want me to live my life?
I don't know if you'd understand.
But i hope this gets through.
I may seem happy, carefree, not having a thought of the world.
But it really is, actually a show, to see those smiles.
To hear laughter all around.
Isn't that what this world is for?
How could you.
I do.
Care for myself.
I do.
Have a heart.
That craves for peace.
I do care if i don't have enough.
I am jealous of you love.
I do not know if this is a phase.
I do not know if this is part of moving on.
I am uncertain of what i am moving from.
I am uncertain of where this hurt comes from.
I am pouring my heart out today because you told me to.
Time to let go, time to outlive this tragedy.
Why?
Why?
Why do I go through all this?
What have I done?
Is it truth or is it just to teach me a lesson that cannot be learnt.
I want an answer, i want to move on.
I want to smile every day because i want to, not because i have to.
I want to laugh each day, not carrying a luggage.
A luggage so huge, because that is my past.
I do not want to do that.
I want to be free, i do not want to hold it back any longer.
I want to let it go.
I want to live, like everyone else.
I want to sing, like no one is listening.
I want to die, without a thought of emptiness.
Without knowing, someone out there is suffering; just like i am.
I want a way out, i want to see a brighter day; not days like today.
Where every bright cloud that shines, seems to be ever so dull.
I am scribbling, not knowing my purpose.
But at least i know, that i feel human.
Hurting deeply, awounded.
I want to do what i want, i tell others to do.
I want to shine, like everyone else.
But i don't want another me, a fake.
Who does anything, just for a smile.
Just to see a much brighter day.
PS. I LOVE YOU.
amin.
" PS, read this link please : http://spanishdemocracy.blogspot.com/2009/07/sleigh-man-kazakhstani-kopite-rene.html . Kopites should be proud ! "
Monday, July 6, 2009 @ 10:11 AM
bismillah-ir rahman-ir rahim.
here's a part of my song i wrote.
with MoyMoyPalaBoy's help.
thanks.
finally, i'm moving forward with the guitar.
" From one lie to the other.
I ran out of fuel
To think you'd even bother.
Now i'm the fool.
Gave you all my trust.
Threw away all my frust.
Just to know you'd go.
Why must i, be the one to fall. "
get my guitar skill right first.
then you'll hear the recording.
with MoyMoyPalaBoy's help.
thanks.
finally, i'm moving forward with the guitar.
" From one lie to the other.
I ran out of fuel
To think you'd even bother.
Now i'm the fool.
Gave you all my trust.
Threw away all my frust.
Just to know you'd go.
Why must i, be the one to fall. "
get my guitar skill right first.
then you'll hear the recording.
i need a drug.
amin.
Saturday, July 4, 2009 @ 11:50 PM
bismillah-ir rahman-ir rahim.
all the great number 10s.
you have just been kicked out.
you ain't a 10 in my book no more.
Luis Javier Garcia Sanz.
now that's a number 10.
now its Andriy Voronin.
he'll do great, surely.
given a chance.
look at this.
Michael TRAITOR Owen.
says "IT FEELS GREAT".
it's about you right?
never about loyalty.
never about heart.
its money.
its your career.
Rafa did the right thing kicking you out.
you went rotting at Madrid.
destroying Madrid's forward line.
you paralyzed at Newcastle.
doing nothing at all.
now you just died.
at the hands of a Scottish freak.
this comment by a Coventry Fan amused me.
"Alex Ferguson has lost the plot. Dosen't sign Carlos Tevez, still can't believe he bought Berbatov the worst most over priced player in the premership, and now he signs michael owen worst mistake ever. Liverpool have the 2009/2010 title in the bag, Man u 2 finish outside top 4! " - Chris H.
Michael TRAITOR Owen.
says "IT FEELS GREAT".
it's about you right?
never about loyalty.
never about heart.
its money.
its your career.
Rafa did the right thing kicking you out.
you went rotting at Madrid.
destroying Madrid's forward line.
you paralyzed at Newcastle.
doing nothing at all.
now you just died.
at the hands of a Scottish freak.
this comment by a Coventry Fan amused me.
"Alex Ferguson has lost the plot. Dosen't sign Carlos Tevez, still can't believe he bought Berbatov the worst most over priced player in the premership, and now he signs michael owen worst mistake ever. Liverpool have the 2009/2010 title in the bag, Man u 2 finish outside top 4! " - Chris H.
an LFC legend you are no more.
amin.
Thursday, July 2, 2009 @ 5:24 PM
bismillah-ir rahman-ir rahim.
Is this true? ..
Now look at this ..
I am not one who likes politics, but what they have found makes sense.
And since Youtube removed some of the episodes.
Which some I have watched.
I know that they are hiding.
Things that we are not supposed to know.
Or we are, but not put so obviously.
I do believe that someone.
Or something is messing with us.
I believe, this is much more ancient than illuminati and more twisted than politics.
Something is out there, and it is there to get us.
In god, i trust.
amin.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009 @ 1:55 AM
bismillah-ir rahman-ir rahim.
Inna lilah wa inna ilayhi raji'oon
Mikaeel.
(also known as)
Michael Joseph Jackson.
The King Of Pop.
so much passion.
who does it better than him?
i will certainly miss you, i will.
i was awaiting for your album.
you didn't release it did you?
all those time you were in Cairo.
i'll miss you my man.
now almost all my icons are dead.
King Elvis Presley.
The Beatles; John Lennon.
King Michael Jackson.
you are the closest icon.
that almost all of my generation grew up with.
who grew up, without your songs.
have yet to listen to music.
when you were with Jackson5.
you were outstanding.
you didn't let your father bring you down.
your solo career.
SUPERB.
the life you had.
all the beautiful things you've done.
the energy, the power.
you had in your songs.
your humanitarian beliefs.
i'm sure your life has been wonderful.
The Earth Song.
one of my favourites.
may you meet my daddy.
while waiting for judgment day.
he was a fan of yours.
what are you?
have you no thought for MY mother?
the woman my father loves so much.
the woman who sweats so much.
who bled too many times.
just for us to live under this roof?
JUST FOR YOU TO BE FREE.
i have no regard for you.
i am sorry daddy.
he is one being i have yet to accept.
i am no prophet.
i will not lie to myself this time.
i love you.
have you no thought for MY mother?
the woman my father loves so much.
the woman who sweats so much.
who bled too many times.
just for us to live under this roof?
JUST FOR YOU TO BE FREE.
i have no regard for you.
i am sorry daddy.
he is one being i have yet to accept.
i am no prophet.
i will not lie to myself this time.
i love you.
amin.
